I'm looking for input.
I'm a 6'1" homosexual man of Puerto Rican decent.
I'm a fixture in the local Punk Rock/Hard Core scene and shave my head so folks can see the huge tattoo of the bat on the back of my head.
It should be obvious to most folks reading this that I am an assimilationist.
When I walk down the street folks don't assume that I am Gay.
The reason I know this is because about a decade ago I was putting up fliers for a local punk show and I heard a fraternity/jock type college student say/ask one of his friends, "Can you believe that guy is Gay?"
OK, maybe being known in my community does not make me much of an assimilationist. At least as defined by revolutionary-radicle-anti-assimilationist-queers.
You see, one of the difining qualities of so called assimilationist Gays is that we are invisible. By moving to the suburbs and getting married we are blending in and hiding who we are. Also, somehow, two men, or women, or trans folks, with a kid in a carrage are validating a repressive-sexist-racist-classist-militaristic system.
Or....
Maybe the term assimilationist is in fact what I've felt it's been for a quarter of a centuary now: Name Calling.
Back in the late 1970's I remember Gay men and Lesbians getting married. They we not trying to make it legal. Gay men and Women were bringing there friends and famalies togeather to celebrate in the manner they were most familiar with,
or in the manner that there religeous/spiritual tradition required.
And every argument I heard againts these Gay wedding ceramonies came from the so called political Gay left.
The term I heard most often at first was "parroting." As in "Oh, there just parroting hetrosexual behavior." At best this sounded to me like arm chair psychology. At worst it made it sound as if these Gay men and women weren't entirly human. Just animals that mimmiced human behavior, like orangutans.
Then the word assimilationist started to assail my post-pubecent ears.
And every time I heard a well read, college educated white gay man or women use it, they sounded to me like some mean spirited three year old calling one of there peers a "Doo-doo head."
I was not inspired. I'm still not sure what word would best express how a 17 year old gay lad would feel listening to the adults of his "community" belittle other members of a community that were supposedly part of a cival rights movement.
One moment I'm being told that we, as a group, were under attack. The next moment came the proscribed time to make fun of the personal choices our "brothers and sisters" were making.
"Brother", "Sister". I heard those terms a lot then too. Over time they went out of fashion. "Assimilationist" has not.
I still hear it to this day. And my feelings towards the word have not changed. My view of those intellegent, well read, and committed men and women has changed however.
PROFOUND POLETARIAT WISDOM
I know a skinhead named Mike. Actualy I know several skinheads named Mike. There all good guys by the way. But this particular skinhead named Mike now lives in New York and sings for a band called American Noise. When we first met my reputation had proceded me and Mike told me this story.
He was at a party with his girlfriend. She has friends that are Gay and they were in attendence as well. She was introducing folks around and after introducing one of her Gay friends to a local skinhead left to tend to other folks.
There was a pause and the skinhead said "So your Gay. How's that working out for ya?" Mike told me "He (the Gay guy) was pissed off for a week!" I thought it was one of the funniest things I'd heard.
I wondered what it was the Gay man was mad about. The question has no wrong ansewer.
You started a new job? How's that working out for ya? Got a new girl? How's that working out for ya?
Take it up the bum? How's that working out for ya?
I told Mike "If that was me, I'd have said, 'Oh great! I'm all paid up on my Gay dues. But damn!
I didn't know there were so many meetings to go to! But Hey! Look at how well accessorized I am!'"
THERE IS NO WRONG ANSEWER!
The question "How is that working out for you?" is a very profound one. In my life I've had to reassess my actions, behaveoir and beliefs. Some issues were easier to address then others. But over time it's become a discipline. A discipline I've needed help from others to improve on.
So my question for you queers; How's it working out for you? HAs your use of the term assimilationist inspired confidence from the diverse communities? Or has it made Gay folks see you as mean spirited, privalaged, and clueless.
Has it promoted the idea of diversity as valueble and worth encourageing? Or has it made the term diversity little more then a buzz word?
Has it made you attentive to the needs and suffering of Bisexual, Gay Male, Lesbian, and Trans individuals and communities? Or has it deafened you to certain voices in the chorus?
Has it reenforced the concept of us being "brothers and sisters?"
I'm a 6'1" homosexual man of Puerto Rican decent.
I'm a fixture in the local Punk Rock/Hard Core scene and shave my head so folks can see the huge tattoo of the bat on the back of my head.
It should be obvious to most folks reading this that I am an assimilationist.
When I walk down the street folks don't assume that I am Gay.
The reason I know this is because about a decade ago I was putting up fliers for a local punk show and I heard a fraternity/jock type college student say/ask one of his friends, "Can you believe that guy is Gay?"
OK, maybe being known in my community does not make me much of an assimilationist. At least as defined by revolutionary-radicle-anti-assimilationist-queers.
You see, one of the difining qualities of so called assimilationist Gays is that we are invisible. By moving to the suburbs and getting married we are blending in and hiding who we are. Also, somehow, two men, or women, or trans folks, with a kid in a carrage are validating a repressive-sexist-racist-classist-militaristic system.
Or....
Maybe the term assimilationist is in fact what I've felt it's been for a quarter of a centuary now: Name Calling.
Back in the late 1970's I remember Gay men and Lesbians getting married. They we not trying to make it legal. Gay men and Women were bringing there friends and famalies togeather to celebrate in the manner they were most familiar with,
or in the manner that there religeous/spiritual tradition required.
And every argument I heard againts these Gay wedding ceramonies came from the so called political Gay left.
The term I heard most often at first was "parroting." As in "Oh, there just parroting hetrosexual behavior." At best this sounded to me like arm chair psychology. At worst it made it sound as if these Gay men and women weren't entirly human. Just animals that mimmiced human behavior, like orangutans.
Then the word assimilationist started to assail my post-pubecent ears.
And every time I heard a well read, college educated white gay man or women use it, they sounded to me like some mean spirited three year old calling one of there peers a "Doo-doo head."
I was not inspired. I'm still not sure what word would best express how a 17 year old gay lad would feel listening to the adults of his "community" belittle other members of a community that were supposedly part of a cival rights movement.
One moment I'm being told that we, as a group, were under attack. The next moment came the proscribed time to make fun of the personal choices our "brothers and sisters" were making.
"Brother", "Sister". I heard those terms a lot then too. Over time they went out of fashion. "Assimilationist" has not.
I still hear it to this day. And my feelings towards the word have not changed. My view of those intellegent, well read, and committed men and women has changed however.
PROFOUND POLETARIAT WISDOM
I know a skinhead named Mike. Actualy I know several skinheads named Mike. There all good guys by the way. But this particular skinhead named Mike now lives in New York and sings for a band called American Noise. When we first met my reputation had proceded me and Mike told me this story.
He was at a party with his girlfriend. She has friends that are Gay and they were in attendence as well. She was introducing folks around and after introducing one of her Gay friends to a local skinhead left to tend to other folks.
There was a pause and the skinhead said "So your Gay. How's that working out for ya?" Mike told me "He (the Gay guy) was pissed off for a week!" I thought it was one of the funniest things I'd heard.
I wondered what it was the Gay man was mad about. The question has no wrong ansewer.
You started a new job? How's that working out for ya? Got a new girl? How's that working out for ya?
Take it up the bum? How's that working out for ya?
I told Mike "If that was me, I'd have said, 'Oh great! I'm all paid up on my Gay dues. But damn!
I didn't know there were so many meetings to go to! But Hey! Look at how well accessorized I am!'"
THERE IS NO WRONG ANSEWER!
The question "How is that working out for you?" is a very profound one. In my life I've had to reassess my actions, behaveoir and beliefs. Some issues were easier to address then others. But over time it's become a discipline. A discipline I've needed help from others to improve on.
So my question for you queers; How's it working out for you? HAs your use of the term assimilationist inspired confidence from the diverse communities? Or has it made Gay folks see you as mean spirited, privalaged, and clueless.
Has it promoted the idea of diversity as valueble and worth encourageing? Or has it made the term diversity little more then a buzz word?
Has it made you attentive to the needs and suffering of Bisexual, Gay Male, Lesbian, and Trans individuals and communities? Or has it deafened you to certain voices in the chorus?
Has it reenforced the concept of us being "brothers and sisters?"
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New Jersey
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